Hello! Is anyone (still) there?
It' been so long, I don't even know how to get back at this.
I feel like I should apologize for being away for so long. But instead, I want to thank those who stuck around, and give a very warm welcome to the new faces around here - Yes, I see you, so Welcome!!! (throwing confetti and balloons for you over here!).
It was you guys who actually reminded me of the importance of having this space where I can share my thoughts and other head trips freely. And as I type this words, I realize the good that it makes me and how much I actually missed it. Although, truthfully, I only realized how long it had been when I opened my email inbox yesterday and saw the dates on all the unanswered emails. I guess I've been so focused on other things that I completely put this space aside for far too long. But hey! I'm here again! - Hopefully.
I guess I was just feeling too out of shape and the more I stayed away, the harder it became for me to get back.
Every year, especially when the winter season is too grey, I tend to shut down for a bit - as if I'm some sort of hibernating animal. My mental health goes a bit nuts for a while and whenever that happens I instantly isolate myself from everything around me. (yes, there you have it, my deep secrets spilled on the internet). I don't mean to blame it on the weather in this country - haha - not at all, but it sure helps a ton when the days start getting longer, you see the first speckles of spring coming through, pet the first lambs of the year and hear the birds chirping around (not to mention the ice-cream van passing in front of my door!). I'm like one of those old-school calculators, you know? I only work well with blue skies and sunshine. I'm a summer baby after all. So there you have it!
Lately, I see so many people facing creative blockage and just lack of motivation in general, and even though this may come across as egoistic, in a way it helped me get my sht together and not feel so lonely in this aspect. I plan on getting more in-depth about this topic in a future post - don't worry, I got you covered.
The weird thing is, is that even though my online presence has been practically null for the past (don't really know how many) months now, I've actually been creating a lot of content. In fact, my drafts are full of posts already created. However, somehow, my tiny (read: huge) self-destructive critic has turned its volume up to the max in the past season, and it kind of made me lost myself back there. I just couldn't find the courage to put things out. Everything seemed too self-centered and too obnoxious. I don't know. There was always something just not quite right.
But guess what I realized? This is my space and I'm only here to share my experiences, point of view and so on, so of course, it has to be at least a bit self-centered. This conclusion may seem a no-brain to you, but if you actually know me, you'll understand what I'm saying here. Call it a mini existential crisis if it helps.
On a much positive note though, I've been focusing on creating and dealing with other things just as important, or perhaps even more important. Private things, creative things. But still, things that I can not reveal, just quite yet. I'm excited though, and I hope you are too because if everything goes according to plan, I will soon reveal them to you. Fingers crossed!
So I got back to business baby, and I have a lot to catch up on. I'm starting to read my favorite blogs again, and trying my best to be more active within this community. I'm probably the worse at it, but hey I'm only one and I can only do so much at a time.
What have you guys been up to lately?
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