BREASTFEEDING. THAT BIG MONSTER!

Ines Lopes

Today I bring you something that has been bugging me for quite a while. As many of small (BIG) subjects in our society, this is a controversial matter that shows to be, at least in my opinion, a nonsense, specially for the century we are currently living.
Let's begin with the simple facts. Man were born with a penis and nipples while women were born with a vagina and breasts. As well as why man have a penis and women have a vagina, it is common sense that women have breasts to be able to produce food for their babies so that they can grow up and became adults like you, me an everyone else. With the exception of the bottle fed babies from day one, we have all sucked in a breast at least once.
Is this part clear? So let's continue.
Many people find it repulsive when a mother breastfeeds in public. From this amount of people, most are women. And I ask why? Didn't the history of (re)evolution damaged women enough that they still feel the need to continue doing it to one another? Even if it is a man, who do you think you are to discriminate women, or anyone really?
The only reason that comes to my mind when women discriminate public breastfeeding is so that their boyfriend, partner, husband or any other men don't see the breast of another women. If so, this is not only ridiculous but truly absurd. But we will get to that in a second.
It's not because I am now a mother that I am more entitled than anyone else to have an opinion. No. But I guess than once you become a parent, specially a mother and you find yourself doing a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g for your baby to feel secure, satisfied and happy you understand a lot better my words and position towards this matter.
For the people who feel repulsed when seeing a mother nursing in public I ask: Would you rather spend your amusing time for example in a coffee shop or in the train listening to a crying baby instead of looking the other way and let nature work? Have you ever heard an hungry baby cry? It can be the most distressing thing, specially to the baby and their parents. Or you're the one with the opinion that mothers shouldn't leave their home with a baby because he/she might feel hungry?
If you think about breastfeeding, it is the perfect thing. I feel so proud to be able to produce food, even better than any other I could offer my baby, and don't have to carry around a bunch of baby bottles, formula and look for a coffee shop or restaurant anytime I have to warm up the milk. I know I could take some milk at home with a breast pump and give a bottle of breast milk to my baby when I am outside. Believe me I tried a couple of times, not because I have any problem nursing in public but because it was cold outside and it would be more convenient, but guess what... Not only the baby wont take the bottle but it also reduces or can even stop the production of milk.
Do you feel repulsive when you see a baby kitten nurse? Why would you feel it when it is a human then? Haven't we all did the same in the end? So why would you discriminate it? The short answer is because our society mold our minds to see breasts as a sexy and sexual part of the human body and many people forget for what they actually exist in the first place.
I find it funny, as in most things in our society, that you can watch porn, see 14 years old girls showing their cleavage and wearing super short mini skirts all the time, see nudity in movies, tv series, magazines but Oh my god if a women breastfeeds in public. I mean really, why? Why would it bother you to see a bit of skin, that you see anyways if I am wearing a defined cleavage. Is it because the baby is sucking on a nipple that you wont even see? Is it because you don't see the nipple, or may be because the baby will burp afterwards?
I really don't get this stupid mentality. I am really sorry if I offend anyone who's reading this and I mean yeah of course I can go somewhere quiet and free of people to breastfeed but I breastfeed on demand and if I am on a train or anywhere else for that matter and my baby is hungry you bet your ass I don't give a flying shit for what you think and I will breastfeed her right there.
Believe me it is much more compelling for a mother to have to bear with all the looking eyes and dirty mouths whispering how rude and inappropriate she is for breastfeeding in public than it is for you to just look the other way.
I understand when people say "Oh I know it is a natural thing, but shitting is also natural and people do it in private". Well yeah, lucky for us we have toilets, but no place for women to nurse. And don't even start with "You should go to a toilet and breastfeed in the stool" because I mean... Come on do you eat in the toilet? Do you know how many germs are in the toilet and how disgusting it can be or even unsafe?
When I was 7 months pregnant I noticed that many people sitting in crowded places, transportation and so on, would be staring at me standing up the whole time and as soon as I would face them they would turn their eyes to the other side not to give up their sit, but if I'm breastfeeding no one can do that. I mean why, really? I get it everyone is free to look, in the end I am in public right? But I mean if you get annoyed or disgusted by it why would you keep looking? If I see a pool of vomit on the ground I will for sure look away and not stare at it. Then why in the whole world would you be staring at something you don't want to see? Why would you look the other way when you see a beggar and not look away for a couple of minutes when you see someone nurse if it troubles you that much? It doesn't take that long and I don't think that any mother will actually sit next to you to cuddle with you while breastfeeding or even oblige you to look at it, right? So you have enough space to look around if you want to, I guess.
You don't want to see my breasts, Ok, fine! Well I don't want to show them to you either or even look at your face for that matter.
I am lucky that The Netherlands is one of the countries with the biggest birth rate and open mind. Everyone knows how important it is to breastfeed and how natural it is as well. I know that in the U.S. breastfeeding is too much discriminated and women even wear this uncomfortable huge blanket on top while nursing in public not because they want to but because they feel like they have to cover themselves due to the social pressure. Not to mention that if a women is caught nursing in public will most likely be approached by other people screaming how dirty she is for doing such a thing.
While I understand that some people are more reserved than others and feel the genuine need to cover themselves. Believe me I truly understand and respect that. I for once want to look at my baby and let her see me while she is nursing, and I think that it should be completely allowed and stop being a taboo for once.
I never had any personal issues with this and I nurse anywhere, really. I breastfed in the middle of the street standing up, in the train, the train station, the coffee shop, restaurant, even in the consulate. I am not undressing and purposely showing you my breasts, even though I can do that at the beach and no one gives a crap. I am simply feeding my baby. Nonetheless I feel like I have to say something for all the women who feel bad for nursing in public and for all this poor mentality who enjoys seeing breasts but think that breastfeeding in public is a crime.
Because it is such a natural thing there are no specific places to breastfeed and it is actually forbidden to ban women from breastfeed in public. At least that! Women only should be entitled to breastfeed the way they want and wherever they feel like it's needed. The minimum you should do is give them space and don't stress a mother when she is breastfeeding. I hope that most of you understand my point here.
I would love to read your thoughts on this, so please leave a comment below.


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