HAPPY MOTHERS

pregnancy

Up until some years ago, my Mother's day consisted of basically creating some pasta necklaces and postcards for my mom. Nothing too fancy, nothing too crazy, but it was the day to offer her some extra love.
From then until yesterday, this same day was just as regular, instead of postcards and stuff I would simply wish a "Happy Mother's day" to my mom and that's that.
This is because, to be very honest, I find this day to be just another commercial one. I personally do not feel the need of having one specific day to remember to be good to the person who put me in this world or to wish her a happy day. I truly don't. I find myself thinking about my mom every day since forever. Maybe I don't show her my love in the best ways sometimes, but that's just me, it's the nature of the human being, at least my human being. Unfortunately, I do not know how to show my feelings to most people, which truly speaking sucks quite a lot most of the times, but anyway.
I've always appreciated motherhood and all that my mother had to pass through so that I would be here now, as well as my father, brother, grandparents and all the rest of the people who had a part in my life. But truly understanding it only came together with becoming a mom myself.
So, yesterday I found myself thinking, and I realized that it was my first Mother's day ever. Eva is still too young to even realize that our society has one day per year to think and appreciate motherhood, and that's fine. Actually, that's not fine, that's the best because she spends every second of every day loving me like I am the only one, and that's amazing. She doesn't need to make me a postcard, a pasta necklace, to buy me flowers, to buy me expensive jewelry or to give me breakfast in bed. I just look at her and I see the unconditional love reflecting in her eyes back at me. That makes my day, every day.
I spent the day doing nothing special. I didn't wake up to breakfast in bed with flowers, a postcard, a "Happy mother's day" wish and some teddy bear holding a heart saying "I love you". Instead, I got up as soon as she awakened, spent most of the morning playing with her while everyone was still asleep, gave her a bath, feed her and once she fell asleep all stretched up on top of my belly I took her back to bed. This made my morning even though I knew that I would spend the rest of the day feeling like a sleepwalker. And the day passed by with worries while she was having her first fever. But becoming a mother is just that isn't it?
Placing your child's well being on top of everything. Covering up dark circles from lack of rest every morning before leaving home, so you don't have to bear with even more comments from other people. Getting up super early in the morning even when you could give your middle finger to sleep just another hour. Not knowing anymore what it's like sleeping more than three to four hours straight. Saying the most stupid and awkward things out of tiredness and only realizing it when people ask it back at you like "what did you just said?". Having your attention lost every couple of seconds. Feeling like a sleepwalker at all times. Having the most incredible difficulty making choices, even for the simple things. Feeling frustrated because you don't fit in any of your pre-pregnancy jeans or clothes for what is worth. Feeling like you want to have your body back but have zero energy to do any more exercise when all the above already feels like exercising the ass out of you every day. Eating cold and interrupted meals. Looking at pre-pregnancy photos of you and wondering if you'll ever be that "hot" again. Being constantly interrupted and having no free time at all times. Feeling lost and finding yourself thinking about what to do with your life. Setting aside all the things you love doing to spend some extra minutes with your baby every day. Not buying that gorgeous shirt or whatever for you but spending that money on toys or clothing for your child instead. Sleeping in the weirdest positions and waking up to a stiff neck just so your baby feels comfortable sleeping in your bed after a bad dream. Getting out with stains on your shirt and not giving a crap because there's no time to go back and change. Having your heart broken and feeling worried every time your baby is feeling sick.
That's all alright because being a mother it's also spending the entire day thinking about the moment when you will finally hold your baby in your arms. Seeing your baby smiling at you like there is no one else in the world. Feeling the small hands and gentle touch right before falling asleep. Looking your baby in the eyes while she's nursing. Feeling like you can do anything because you were able to give birth. Knowing you took the right and hardest decision of your life and feel proud if it. Finding yourself spending hours just looking at your baby growing in front of your eyes.
To all the mothers out there, to all the women who've lost, to the ones who wish they have a baby and can't or still haven't, I wish you a very happy mother's life. Enjoy every single moment in life, as I know you will, and make the most out of it.
To all the ones who have not become parents yet or lost their moms, try to think of all the great things and efforts your mother had to do so that you could be here now and appreciate every day what you have become and have in life. Your mother can be just the person who pushed you out, or the person who raised you, tucked you into bed, spent sleepless nights worried about you or postpone her life to take care of yours.
Appreciate that every second of your life.




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